Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Tuesday Trainwreck - How Did This Show Stay On The Air So Long?

I have to warn you - unspeakable evil lies within this post. The horrors which you are about to witness could leave you shaken, scarred, and tormented for the rest of your life. Those with weak constitutions should turn back now, as I can't be held responsible for the grim fate that awaits you should you proceed to read this article. And for those who choose to proceed, all I can say is, abandon all hope, ye who enter here:

Oh, the humanity! The horror! The bad writing and rigid acting! Damn you God! Why have you forsaken us? Ah,...I think I've made my point. And what happened to the fat guy?

I thought long and hard about what I should write for this article, but finally I came to the conclusion that Wings speaks for itself. It's a terrible, terrible show that should never have seen the light of day, and that's about it. But, for some reason that I'll never be able to wrap my brain around, people watched it. And some of those people are going to buy this DVD. Hell, this is the fourth season, so odds are someone out there bought the first three. Hopefully, that bad decision by some poor, unfortunate soul won't reflect harshly on the rest of us.

So let me just say this before moving on - don't buy this. That's it - that's all I've got. I'm not going to beg or plead with you. If you decide not to take my advice, enjoy you're stay in hell. The rest of us will be there eventually.

But that leaves us with the rest of this article, so let's kill some time. How about a song? Let's go with "Misty Morning, Albert Bridge" by The Pogues:

I dreamt we were standing
By the banks of the Thames
Where the cold grey waters ripple
In the misty morning light
Held a match to your cigarette
Watched the smoke curl in the mist
Your eyes, blue as the ocean between us
Smiling at me

I awoke alone and lonely
In a faraway place
The sun fell cold upon my face
The cracks in the ceiling spelt hell
Turned to the wall
Pulled the sheets around my head
Tried to sleep, and dream my way
Back to you again

Count the days
Slowly passing by
Step on a plane
And fly away
I'll see you then
As the dawnbirds sing
On a cold and misty morning
By the Albert Bridge

Now wasn't that nicer than talking about Wings? Yeah, I thought so. Thanks Pogues. This musical moment was brought to you by the Atomic Playground. Because we care.

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