Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Tuesday Trainwreck - Beware The Chick Flick

I picked this week's Trainwreck based on the assumption that no women actually read this site. This theory is based on a couple factors. First, more than half the stories on this site are about video games, and the only three girl gamers that I know don't bother to read this page. Second, I haven't had any hotties email me pics of their boobies as a direct result of this site (though I did receive a pic of this boob). So with all that in mind, this week's Trainwreck is the biggest chick flick of the year, Dreamgirls:

If you like movies about singing, feelings, and relationships, then you're a wuss. Go read another website. But, as long as you're here, let me tell you that you'll like this movie. For all the rest of us that just want a few explosions and some full frontal nudity, this flick is two hours of torture.

Based on the cast list alone, you'd think this one was worth the price of admission - you've got Eddie Murphy (without the fat suit), Jamie Fox, Danny Glover, and Beyonce Knowles for some much needed hotness. But even this cast can't change the fact that this is a touchy feely movie, and honestly, not even a great one of those.

In short, the plot revolves around three women who want to become music stars. They start as backup singers for Murphy, and eventually form their own group. But, jealousy and infighting in the group over who is the real star ultimately causes their downfall. Yeah, it's the same thing that broke up Poison - no one in the music biz is safe.

The one saving grace of the movie is the music - say what you want, but that Jennifer Hudson can sing. Unfortunately, the music is incomplete, as most of the songs are only presented as clips in the movie. What's there is gold, but there's just not enough of it to make this movie worthwhile to a male audience.

Bottom line, this isn't a bad movie - if you're a chick, you'll love it. But if you're a dude, getting through it will be rough. On the plus side, sitting through this with a chick will probably score you some major points, and could mean an even bigger score later in the night. So when this DVD ends, fire up the Barry White and make all her dreams come true.

And for any girls that are actually reading this - you can send those pics of your boobies to me right here. Thanks!

No comments: